Saturday, October 10, 2009
Martha Doesn't Live Here
It's a good thing - that Martha Stewart does not live here (in my house). Yes, I can cook. And the food is tasty - most of the time. Well, there are always those times when I am a little ambitious with the red pepper flakes. But the icing on my cupcakes is not going to look like pilgrims at Thanksgiving, perfectly wrapped packages at Christmas, and bunnies at Easter. I can, however, wrap one heck of a present!
I try to make sure my sheets match - or least the pillow cases are coordinated colors. And, the best towels are in the guest bath. But the soap in the shower is not homemade, I didn't make the curtain rods from wooden dowels tooled in my garage, or tile the shower. I actually have a life.
One Saturday afternoon I was flipping channels on the television trying to find the news when I came across her show. I stopped to watch it for a moment. She has always fascinated me. After all she has made a fortune saying things are simple - you can do it - I'll show you how. Then she launches into these projects that require time most of us don't have, items that she thinks everyone should have around the house. I certainly don't keep extra antique tin milk cans or the spare bolt of silk moire fabric around - do you? And, using skills that, unless you went to art school or have a degree in agriculture or carpentry, are going to frustrate the Hell out of you. But don't fret, if you can't produce it, she can and just happens to have it in her "collection" at Kmart. And, she'll sell it to you. She's a genius.
And cooking . . . unless you live in a city with a Dean & Deluca down the street, good luck finding those two key ingredients that set her recipe apart. But don't worry about that special utensil, pot, or pan you've never heard of, but definitely cannot do without. Yes, you guessed it - it's in her collection at Kmart.
As I said - It's a good thing - for her!