Friday, December 4, 2009

A Nightmare of Lights

I've mentioned before our white v. colored tree light issue. Well, this year we decided to modernize our tree and "upgrade" to LED lights. Now mind you, I am talking about a significant investment. These pups are not cheap. My DH attempted to sell this idea to me last yuletide but I resisted because (a) I did not see the purpose of spending gobs of money and (b) I did not particularly care for blue lights. If you have ever paid attention to LED Christmas lights, most of the "white" lights are actually a "cool" blue. And, unless I was going for an Elvis theme, I was opting out.

This year, we were in Sam's (imagine that!) and they had this tremendous assortment of LED holiday lights. Given that the display was centrally located, brightly lit, and very colorful, it quickly attracted my DH's attention. (I think he is part crow - if it is shiny - it's got his attention.) To my surprise they had "warm white" LED Christmas tree lights - finally someone got the memo. After a small conference in the aisle, my DH convinced me it was worth trying and made a good point that if we didn't buy them then, we wouldn't find them again. And, we could always return them - his fail safe deal sealer.

So we put 12 boxes in our buggy and moved on.

The next morning, I find my DH has a string of the new lights plugged in. "These are really neat," he says. "The lights can be programmed 16 different ways" "That's great - but all I need are 2 ways, on and off, " I comment. "What 16 ways?" regretting the question as it slipped out of my mouth. "Let me show you - steady on, chasing, sparkling, slo-glo, fade, sequential, flashing, twinkle, stepping" . . . the rest just went past me. Then he continued, "But the neatest thing is that you can select 'Combination' and it will randomly do all of the functions at once." An illumination nightmare comes to mind.

What have I signed up for? All I remember was agreeing to replace our Christmas tree lights with more efficient LED lights and just "holding out" for white over blue. Now, I fear waking up to a Christmas tree on crack. I don't ask for much, just lights - that work, that light up when you turn them on, that when lit give a warm white glow and stay in a steady state of "on", and that go out when you turn them off. It's not that complicated. Certainly, one of those 16 functions will accomplish this simple task.

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