Thursday, July 22, 2010

Red Necks

There is a thin line between a "Red Neck" and the rest of us down here. Well, of course there are those Charleston "blue bloods", but that's a whole different group and it's real obvious who they are. And, if you have any question, they make it very clear. They have the lineage and the land grants to prove it. (Now, maybe the lands have long since been sold but they can show you where their family owned it "forever" until the Yankee carpetbaggers took it or they lost it through poor management.) But I digress.

Back to the Red Necks. Now down here, when someone says Red Necks, we think of a red car named The General Lee, old house trailers with cars jacked up in the front yard, or houses with peeling paint and a "dead" washing machine on the front porch. Jeff Foxworthy has made a fortune defining this genre. Apparently, the rest of country, thinks of the term as a description of the general population of most of the southeastern United States. They need to be educated.

I'm here to prove I am not a Red Neck
  • I have read Sherlock Holmes' and therefore am aware that that is not the name of a housing project
  • I do not think possum is the other white meat, it's spelled opossum
  • My name is not spray painted in any public place (that I know of)
  • The taillight covers on my car are not made of red tape (I don't think the duct tape on the seats of my old car counts)
  • I don't have three cousins named "Bubba" or "Junior" (However, I just learned that a niece of mine and her husband have adopted a new last name after moving half way across the country.)
  • I have never barbecued Spam
  • We do not have any "dead" major appliances on our front porch (we keep our "dead' washing machines and dryers in the garage)
  • I don't have any relatives named after Confederate Generals (as long as you don't count Stuart, Lee, Jackson, or Bragg)
  • I do not have a NASCAR item in my home nor in my possession
  • I have never shopped on QVC (although I understand Dale Jr has a wide variety of quality merchandise there)
So see, you have us all wrong. The rest of us are not Red Necks. If you came down here you'd see it is easy to spot the Red Necks, they are the ones who get dressed up to go to Wal-mart (they put on shoes.)


Lynn said...

You snob. Do flip flops count?

AC said...

As I said "They get dressed up." The rest of us just hope we don't run into anyone we know while we're there.But,then who's to say they would recognize me. Most of the time, I'm a pitiful sight.