Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Life According to Me

Things according to me:

  • Donuts are only worth the calories if they are fresh enough to still be warm.
  • Sheets should always be 100% cotton (long staple Egyptian if possible) and at least 400 thread count.
  • Never use cheap aluminum foil, you'll regret it every time.
  • There's a reason perfume is much more expensive than cologne and you get what you pay for.
  • If you wear any gold or silver jewelry, make sure it is 18k, 24k, or sterling.
  • When asked if a piece of your jewelry is real, the best answer is, "It was a gift. I didn't ask."
  • If all else fails, ketchup will polish copper and salt will put put out a stove top fire.
  • Pepper should always come from a grinder.
  • Cheap Balsamic vinegar is an expensive ingredient for homemade pickles, and nothing else. If a recipe calls for Balsamic vinegar its means honest-to-God real Balsamic vinegar.
  • While we don't have control over much in life, fortunately we can always control our hair color.
  • When he presents you with an extremely generous gift for "no reason", you can be assured it is for one of two reasons - you were real good or he was real bad. If you're smart, you'll just except the gift with great appreciation and ask no questions.
  • Pick your battles, if he doesn't do the following from the start - put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, make up the bed, or pick up his clothes, there is no point in nagging him, some things are not going to change, doesn't matter what you do, it ain't gonna happen.
  • You'll never measure up to his mother, just be nice and don't get your feelings hurt.
  • Don't try to dress like your teenage daughter, act like your teenage daughter, or be her best friend. Remember, you've been there and thank God you survived.
  • If you ever doubted God was a man, you have never experienced child birth.

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