Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Universal Remote

If it's not bad enough that I am having to deal with an onslaught of audio-visual remotes in our den, now they are multiplying like Tribbles on Star Trek. Last week, I walk in the den to find my DH on a ladder with a pencil in his mouth, a ruler on the ceiling, and holding some silver object I do not recognize. This does not look good. Then I see that he has removed one of the recessed flood lights from the ceiling and is now measuring the hole that formerly held said light.

When I look at him with a "what in the Hell are you doing now" sweet smile on my face, he replies, "I found these great LED lights at Costco." Surprise, Surprise. "I am going to replace these flood lights that have never worked. Finally we will have decent lights up here." I see several possible issues here, the replacements are LED, they look small to me, this is a project that could make my den ceiling look like a construction zone for weeks, and my DH is attempting the installation. I know, I know, oh yeah of little faith (but lots of experience.)

After supper, my DH proudly says,"Let me show you the lights." "They're in?" "They are in, I told you it wouldn't take that long." OK, so I was wrong on one count. The first thing that strikes me when I enter the den is that our ceiling looks like someone has installed small blueish runway lights - and they are LED. Memories of the Christmas tree light arguments discussions come to mind. And, better yet, they look little Pixar lamps hanging up side down in my den. As I look at them, trying to think of an honest, positive comment to make, my DH adds,"And the best part is you turn them on and off with remote controls." "Controls?" "Yeah, there three sets of lights. Two up here and one in the back." I had failed to see Runway 008 to the Northeast in the back.

Then he picked up a remote and proceeded to demonstrate the simplicity of the system. The first remote he clicked turned on half the front lights. Then he clicked the second remote. That turned on the back lights. The third remote turned on the remaining front lights and turned off the front lights that were originally on and all the back lights. "I may have to make a few adjustments."

"Oh," and he added, "while I was in Costco, I found this great universal remote that can control every device we have." "What do you mean every device?" "It will turn on the TV, DVD player, sound system, and CD player." "And, the lights?," I said in jest. "I hadn't thought about that, maybe it will." Oh God, I've created a monster.

In the back of my mind, I see Fred McMurray as the Absent Minded Professor working in his lab suddenly pressing some button with pride and every machine in his workshop that can move, whistle, honk, bend, throw, or walk start going at a loud rapid pace. In our den it will be the TV rapidly changing channels, while the DVD player is playing something very loudly through the surround sound system all the while our new lighting system keeps the beat whirling and twirling about on the ceiling. All I can say is that I hope it has batteries I can remove.

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