OK, the Christmas Cards have been ordered (after they have been edited of course). So, now I need to carefully craft a very short, fifty words or less, note to slip in them that basically says, yes we are all alive, our oldest daughter is alive and well, even though her name is no longer in the family salutation, and our youngest is not as needy as it seems, since she insisted on being included. And, if there is any room left I can let family and friends know we are doing OK, without going into any annoying details.
I have always been tempted to write a two page letter that listed every malady all four of us had during the year (down to hang nails), all of our doctor appointments (in chronological order of course), every shopping excursion we took (listing the amount of money we saved), and a run down of the annual family reunion. Two things held me back - the total revulsion of the idea and the exhausting amount of time it would take.
We have several friends we can count on to deliver an annual epistle that touts the Olympic athletic talents and incredible scholarly achievements of their children. Really, like I care that their ten year old was named most valuable player on his local soccer team. Could the fact Mom brought homemade snacks and fresh squeezed juice to every practice and game have any influence? (Find it hard to believe? Skip down to paragraph 4 in the letter, she covers her "soccer mom" contributions.)
And, as for academics, little Mary Lou (at 8) was doing well at the regional spelling bee until she got tripped on the word triskaidekaphobia. Of course the winner, Haj Gupta, had an inside track and his mother doesn't even cook. Way too much information.
What happened to "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"? - besides it being politically incorrect and trite. Maybe, I'll just may it short and sweet, "All survived, still talking, nothing to write home about, waiting for the big guy in Red, have a good one, stay tuned until next year."