Monday, February 7, 2011

Fashions at Wal-mart

I was in Wal-mart early Saturday and looked around. Where do these people come from? I don't have a clue.  I've never seen most of them before (thank goodness). Maybe their mother ship is parked out back. 

It is obvious that they have never seen a mirror, because I cannot imagine venturing off my front porch (sober) dressed the way they do. The basic theme is camouflage (for the men and women). Now green camo over Hello Kitty pajama bottoms makes a statement. And, then there is always the underlying NASCAR motif along with any clothing item sporting a beer or cigarette logo. Sometimes, these shoppers can be mistaken for a walking trailer park bill board. "This shopper is brought to you by Budweiser." Just for the record this Bud was never for me.

And, if their clothes don't set them apart, then it's hard to miss their hair styles. Even in our town down here mullets are not standard fare. Billy Ray Cyrus had his run in the early '90s and is long gone. In some ways I get the feeling I am living on the set of "Roseanne". There is a lot of yelling among the "family" members and language that my mother would not find becoming. So this is why they make plastic flowers and polyester pants. I always wondered.

As I get in my car to leave before someone decides to "take me to their leader", I look in the mirror. Maybe I should have brushed my hair before I left the house. And, I wonder if anyone noticed that my red sweater perhaps did not match my pink shirt. But, that didn't matter. No one could see it. After all I was wearing my bright yellow vest over it all - a true fashion statement.

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