Thursday, January 5, 2012

All Roads Lead To . . .

I may be going out on a limb here, but if I were a national journalist looking for a great story, here is a hint. Now that the Iowa caucuses are over and the Republicans are looking past New Hampshire, that leaves us - South Carolina, suddenly on the map.

Seriously, think about it. Starting today, only here, in our fair town, can someone find thousands of coon hunters (and their groupies), true honest to God BBQ (only open on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), and now, rumor has it, Republican presidential candidates. Talk about a trifecta. Given BBQ has an attraction to Coon hunters akin to their hounds tracking coons, simply follow the pick-up trucks.

Now, I have no inside track on this. But, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put BBQ, Coon hunters, and Republican politics together (think America, Mom, and Apple pie).

So, great, now we can add news trucks to the mix. Given the satellite dish on the top on a CNN truck attracts a certain type 'round here, we will have red necks coming out from under the rocks looking for their five minutes of fame. You know the kind they always find after some bad storm or horrific event, who lacks a few front teeth and sports a NASCAR tee-shirt and some tobacco related baseball cap. "Yes siree, it just came out of no where. Sounded like a freight train and before I could grab the little lady, the side of the house trailer was gone. After it was over, all I could find was my Barcalounger."

Also, given that one candidate has already been seen holding the correct end of a gun while on a photo op hunting trip in Iowa and another is known to shoot coyote square in the head while jogging, after finishing their meal, they may just decide to mosey on over to the fairgrounds and shake a few hands with the folks out there. Talk about frustration - try asking for votes over the incessant howling of dogs. And, candidates complain about the Moose Lodge. This will add a whole new appreciation for those rubber chicken dinners and relentless stump speeches. 

If nothing else, maybe they'll get a good meal out of it. After all, we offer the best BBQ around. Just ask the guy up the road sitting in his Barcalouger in the front yard.


Greg Wilson said...

Maybe you should appreciate the money that all the "rednecks" will bring to your fair town this weekend? Maybe you should go to the fairgrounds and meet a few of them? You may find that most of them are hard working, educated..more than you maybe???? God fearing people. Veterans of battles fought for this country, doctors, lawyers, and maybe just all around good people. Of course you will need to search high and low for a Nascar t-shirt and a tobacco themed hat...But maybe one blew out of one of the rednecks trucks??? That could be an option. It's ok, use it...they will buy another one from an establishment in your town. Stereo-typing is a bad habit, even in an attempt at humor. It is however a red flag for ignorance. Have a good day, the rednecks will be gone soon.

Greg Wilson (redneck coon hunter)

AC said...

Please see my response (and hopefully - clarification) posted later today.