All these lists had to be combined, the duplicates removed, and then it went back and forth between the MOTB and her husband over who was on the list and who needed to be removed. Names would be struck off and then added back the following week. Every Monday morning I would find a note with some names on my desk, "Please check and see if these are on the list." And, the round robin would start once more.
At one point, I had a separate list of names that had been pulled off the main list and included anyone on death's door, with a terminal disease, with marital problems, in the process of a divorce, or whose house was for sale. The MOTB was determined that the invitations would be addressed correctly. If parties were separated at the time the invitations were delivered, then they needed to be addressed accordingly. And, she would not have an invitation sent to someone who had already passed away. That would be most disrespectful to the family. So I kept up with the obituaries, the MLS, and the local gossip to ensure that list was up-to-date.
I remember one prominent business man always used his middle initial "M" and never his middle name. The MOTB had me call his office to obtain his middle name so his invitation would be correctly addressed. His assistant told me, as I expected, just to use the initial, that was his preference. The MOTB would have none of that and called him herself. After several minutes of polite but emphatic language on her part, he finally said,"What difference does it make? The invitation is coming to me. If I say 'M' is correct, then by God it's correct." She hung up in defeat. "Have it his way. But it is not correct. You cannot address a formal invitation without a full name."