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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Large and Loud

I was sitting in line at the Dairy-O (the home of the world famous "Curley Burger") and the diesel engine of the F-350 pickup truck in front of me was so loud Miss Cordelia could hardly hear my simple order of a Diet Coke.

Is that size truck necessary? Really? Why he could have moved his house with in, if he had left the wheels on it. There is something about being loud and large down here. Now, I wasn't raised reared that way. My Aunt Kat, my Mama, and especially my Daddy were from the school that a child was to be seen and not heard. As I grew up, Aunt Kat was bent on making sure I understood the importance of a lady not calling attention to herself - being prim and proper (and what not).

So loud and large goes against my grain. Of course, Texas is an exception. Everything is loud and large there, and everyone knows you don't mess with Texas. Here the "L&L" folks fall into two categories; let's just say the red necks and the ones who want to be on top of the social ladder. (And honey, I'll tell you right now you're either from it or marry it and chances are if you marry it, you're from it, but I digress.) 

If you think about it, which men drive the biggest pick-ups with the most chrome? And, which 'ladies' lollygag around town in a brand spankin' new SUV, the size of which would hold an army platoon and safely move them down Bagbad's airport road? It can be confusing as to who is showing they arrived and who is arriving to show.

And, big, let's talk about hair. When it comes to women, need I say more? The bigger the better - tease it, perm it, cut it, curl it, stack it up high. Sometime's the difference is just the beautician. After all, doesn't everyone aspire to be  an LB-01 Preference by L'Oreal blond. The only difference is whether you're willing to part with $175 or you get your sister-in-law, Martha, to do it in her kitchen after the kids are asleep, before Earl gets home.

And, loud. Some folks have no shame. You can hear them in Wal-mart yelling down aisle four, "Erline, don't forget the extra steaks,  Junior's bringing Betty Sue's folks by tonight." But then there's the loud attire that also calls your attention. Fushia, green, and egg plant with iridescent sequins and matching rhine stone shoes just don't look particularly pleasing on anyone during the day. (I don't care what the lady at Nieman Marcus said.)

Aunt Kat was wise in her advice to not call attention to myself.  And, although in doing so, I know I will miss out on a lot of the loud and large living - I'll hopefully avoid any confusion.  Besides, I prefer Superior Preference 6 1/2G Lightest Golden Brown.

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