Monday, April 23, 2012

Yard Art

I was returning the (unused wedding) ribbon to the craft store. While I waited in line I could not help but over hear the two women behind me discuss one of the items in their buggy. "Look - it has a scratch on it." "Hum, that's not a scratch, that's a flaw and one that we should certainly get an additional 10% off." With that she pulled out a calculator and started punching in numbers. "Originally priced at 49.99, on sale for 50% off, it was going to cost $24.99. If we get an additional 10%, that would be $22.50." "I don't know if I want to pay that much for it." "Come on Iris, you've been looking for something to put on that little bench for ever now. You know this is just the thing."

Curiosity was killing me. I just had to look. I was a "little" surprised to see Iris holding an eighteen inch tall copper colored mermaid. Now, I'll confess right now in front of God and everyone that yard art is not my forte. I cannot tell the difference between a roaming gnome and a dwarf. They all look fairly similar to me. (OK, exactly alike.) I know that folks in Florida put pink plastic Flamingos in their yards and red necks here put out statutes of deer (as if we don't have enough live ones running around). Since I wasn't raised reared with snow white and her little friends frolicking in our pine straw it is hard for me to relate. But I digress.

Of course, the first question that came to my mind was, "Why a mermaid?" I didn't even have to ask - Iris's friend continued her campaign for Arial. "Think about how well she will look sitting next to the two swans you bought last year on QVC. And, the color will match the copper on the miniature wishing well." As I stood there, trying not to stare, I saw that Iris was also holding a green colored resin mushroom with (you guessed it) a fairy perched on top. 

"But this is what I had in mind," Iris said holding up the mushroom. "I think I'll just get this and not get the mermaid." "Oh, Iris. Anyone can have that. But a mermaid? I think you are going to regret it." "Well, why don't you get it then?" "I would, but you know it won't fit into my theme. I'm still looking for couple of dancing fairies to match the band of frog musicians I found last week."

At that time the salesperson had finished my return and issued my credit. I always wondered who bought all the schlock, gee gaws, and gimcracks I saw in the craft stores, on eBay, and at yard sales. Now, I knew - Iris and her like.   Maybe that is why the gnomes roam. 

But, given what one can find in my back yard on any given day, I really don't have room to talk. At least they have a theme.

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