anna

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Mysteries of the Unviverse

And, then there are always those great mysteries of the universe:

How does the washer know to give you spare change in repayment for the socks the dryer ate?

That I'm not so much interested in the Mayan's prophecy of the end of the world or some Evangelical's prediction of the rapture, I would settle for a true universal remote.

We wonder why people are perplexed trying to learn our language when we throw out terms as "Guest Host", "Living Dead", "Bitter Sweet", and "Sweet Sorrow." After all, English is such a simple and straight forward language. Well, there are those exceptions for the i and c thing, and neighbor and weigh, and something about a and an's before silent h's. (Who knew they were shy?)

Why southern men think that the trail of clothes, shoes, cups, books, papers, etc. they leave as they move through the house is going to magically put itself up. Spoiler alert: Bed Knobs and Broomsticks was a movie, the last time I looked the House Keeping Fairy didn't live here, and Clemmie, bless her heart, did not leave your mother to move in with us.

That I am still waiting for the "important people" I was told as a child by my Mama, were coming and were so special she prevented us from sitting on any of the living room furniture in expectation of their arrival.

Why some people just don't understand the comfort of cookie dough or cake batter. (All I can say is they must have never had a grandmother with an electric mixer.)

Why it took me 52 years to realize that I never had to wear panty hose again.

Why I can easily justify eating a Baby Ruth and a Diet Coke?

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