I was reading The Daily (an electronic newspaper published on the iPad) last night and came upon an article, The Worst Candidates of 2012. As I started reading through the list, I realized the piece was about 21 sleazy, conniving, low life, two faced, (sometimes) law breaking scum bags who the American people have put into office. And, in most cases are more than likely getting ready to reelect these bozos again next Tuesday.
Knowing the track record and reputation of our fair state, I feared how many places on the list were filled by our representatives. Heck, we could make our own list. Remember, John Jenrette who had sex with his young wife on the capitol steps during a break in a late night session of congress and then was tried and convicted of taking $50,000 in an FBI bribery sting. He went to prison. His young wife went on to pose for Playboy and write a book about her exploits (on the steps) with the congressman.
Then there was our Secretary of Agriculture who was indicted several years ago for taking a $10,000 bribe from a cockfighting organization and to influence the Aiken County sheriff to "look the other way" so the prosperous "sporting" venture could continue. Sharpe was convicted and sentenced to prison. (His wife did not write a book.)
These are but minor stains on the dingy linen of our electoral history. But, I digress.
As, I looked down the list, we were not on the first several pages. Perhaps there were electorates more gullible than us.
No. 1 Mark Clayton Tennessee (D) candidate for US Senate
According to The Daily he "believes [in]: a sinister federal plot to build a NAFTA superhighway from Mexico to Toronto, an Arnold Schwarzenegger plan “to amend the Constitution so that he can become president and fulfill Hitler’s superman scenario.”
No.2 Todd Akin (R) Candidate for US Senate Missouri
(Need I even say anything.)
(Need I even say anything.)
No. 3 Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D) U.S. House, 2nd District Illinois
(Exhaustion, a bi-polar condition, extra-marital issues, or maybe the investigation into misappropriation of campaign funds? Come on, just choose one, this isn't multiple choice.)
No. 4 Rep. Scott DesJarlais (R) U.S. House, 4th District, Tennessee
According to The Daily "The fervently pro-life, family-values Republican from Tennessee had an extramarital affair — then pressured his mistress to have an abortion." And, then "In divorce papers, the tea partier also admitted to having at least four affairs during his marriage and allegedly once threatened his wife with a gun." Perhaps the Tea Party should look more closely at their guest list.
No.5 Harry Lyon Alabama chief justice
The Daily writes "He was once shot in the neck by a neighbor after being caught pouring chocolate syrup on the man’s car, and he’s been convicted of menacing for standing in the window of his home and pointing a shotgun at two local children. Lyon ran for mayor in 2004 on the platform that city employees meet weight guidelines or face termination: 'Let’s face it, the fact is that fat people are ugly and disgusting to look at as much as is traffic congestion.' While the Alabama Democratic Party recently decided to disqualify Lyon from the ticket on the grounds of 'bizarre behavior,' die-hard fans can vote for him as a write-in candidate."
Skip on down the list
No.8. Colleen Lachowicz (D) Maine Senate
According to The Daily Sen. Lachowicz is playing at level 85 in the World of Warcraft, the highest level one can achieve. Given the average gamer (at the age of 28) spends 22.7 hours per week playing, "The pastime might raise concerns of credibility, but if Lachowicz’s legislative demeanor is anything like her fierce-looking neon avatar, Santiaga, Maine’s GOP lawmakers just might have picked on the wrong geek."
9. Rep. Joe Walsh (R) U.S. House, 8th District, Illinois
He follows the school of Todd Akin although a little more despicable. Trying to impugn the character of his opponent (according to The Daily) he said " 'I have so much respect for what she did in the fact that she sacrificed her body for this country,” Walsh told an interviewer, pausing for effect before adding adding: “Ehhh. Now let’s move on. What else has she done? Female, wounded veteran ... ehhh ... She is nothing more than a handpicked Washington bureaucrat.'” The awkward words were directed at former pilot Tammy Duckworth, who lost both legs in Iraq when insurgents hit her helicopter with an RPG. But Walsh didn’t stop there. At a recent town hall event, he tried to diminish Duckworth’s sacrifice even further: (Once again from The Daily) “ 'Now I’m running against a woman who, my God, that’s all she talks about,' he said. 'Our true heroes, it’s the last thing in the world they talk about.' Of course, when it came time to defend himself against allegations that he was a “deadbeat dad” owing more than $100,000 in child support, Walsh demanded that Duckworth pull her attack ads on ethical grounds. 'I know politics is rough, and I know I’m fair game, but this is absolutely dirty,' Walsh said. 'Have some class, Tammy.' "
And, then I came to it. I knew it was there some where. How could I have forgotten this upstanding representative of our people and bearer of the mantle of family values (mom and apple pie).
10. State Rep. Ted Vick (R) South Carolina House
I quote directly from The Daily, “As a trained minister of the Gospel, Ted is a strong believer in traditional Southern family values,” announced Vick’s website earlier this year when he was running for a seat in the House of Representatives. Then he was arrested for drunken driving — in the company of a 21-year-old female college student he’d just picked up at a bar. Still, that really was a pistol in his pocket, and he neglected to mention to the cops that he was packing heat. So the indefatigable Vick is back to spreading his peculiar brand of family values on the local level, as he fights to keep his state Senate seat. Fresh allegations of illegal campaign contributions suggest that he has his work cut out for him."
16. Cynthia Clinkingbeard U.S. House, 1st District, Idaho
The Daily referred to Former Congresswoman Clinkingbeard as "a Three Mile Island unto herself." And, rightly so. They went on to explain, "In March, she walked into a Staples office supply store, reportedly made strange, threatening remarks, to three employees, then pulled a handgun on them. She was charged with three counts of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and eventually dropped out of the race. This isn’t the first time Clinkingbeard’s sanity has been questioned. In 2005, her medical license was revoked because of mental illness."