Monday, November 26, 2012
The Annual Saga of the Christmas Tree
If my marriage ever comes to a bitter end I predict it will be due to one of several reasons - one of them being our Christmas tree. And, every year, we are tested. This year was no different.
Thanksgiving day we merrily went to our favorite Christmas tree farm to select and cut our tree. We walked through the field looking at the various trees. Our first issue was the question of height. Since we only have eight foot ceilings, I always feel that it is unreasonable to look at trees over eight feet. Anything larger is like attempting to put two tons of fertilizer in a one truck. Unless, my DH has acquired some skills of the dark arts, a larger tree will not fit.
After a while all the trees started to look alike. I couldn't tell one from another. That is the point when I apply my "Wedding Dress Theory" - Wedding dresses are all white, when you find one you like, stop and take that one home. Then the second issue arose - my DH lost patience,"Just choose one." My response, "It doesn't really matter to me." I may as well have thrown a Molotov cocktail.
By the time we had chosen a tree, cut it down, and flagged someone to come get it, civility returned. And, once again we reminisced on the way home about Christmases past and plans for this Christmas with the girls.
We got the tree home and in its stand. Then the games began. For some reason, I was tasked early on in our marriage with putting the lights on the tree. (I'm not sure what I did to deserve such punishment.) So, I was on a ladder starting to string the lights. (If you are a loyal reader, you know our history with lights - we use multiple strands of white lights, then there was the LED issue but we won't go there.)
As I was starting with the third string of lights, my DH commented, "There are holes. You know, it would be a lot easier and look better if you would do it my way." I asked him to please explain "his way", and, of course, he did. My only question was how I was going to keep the lights on the branches. And, it went down hill from there. From experience I realized it was much easier to acquiesce, and keep peace on earth (or at least in our household).
I finished the lights. It was not pretty. My DH commented, from his chair, that some were hanging from the bottom. I put up the ladder and gathered the empty light boxes. Meanwhile, my DH was under the tree tying the loose lights.
By the time the tree was completely decorated, albeit a little askew in the illumination area, the mantle adorned with the wreath and garland, and all the empty boxes packed back in the attic, we sat back and looked at the tree and the other holiday trimmings. My DH, commented, "You did a good job with the lights. And, I like the mantle." I thanked him, thinking maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
Then he added, "Some more lights are hanging off the tree. Do I need to fix those?" "Next year, I think you should do the lights." "Are you kidding? I think its better that I just watch, unless you want us to use colored lights."