In talking with our florist about the wedding I expressed my concerns about some of the details. "Oh, honey, you won't believe some of things we have seen." Then he went on to tell the story of a wedding in a near by country town. The grandmother of the bride was a good customer of his and had asked him to do the flowers for the wedding and the reception. Her comment was, "My granddaughter is white trash and I hate to say, but she is marrying even trashier white trash."
He said when they showed up with the flowers for the reception at the bride's house, they just knew he was at the wrong house because there was a 55 gallon drum of trash burning in the front yard. But, alas they were at the correct address.
They asked the mother where they were to put the cake table and were told "Back there by the dog pens". (And, the pens were full of howling dogs complete with the sanity (or lack there of) that goes with them.) And, it only got worse. The assortment of plastic and wooden tables were covered with thin white plastic from a large roll.
After "decorating" for the reception the florist went to meet the grandmother at the church. His first words were, "I hope you drink and if you don't, you are going to need a Zanex or two." Her response was,"Oh, I know how bad it is, I just had to do my part and know it was done right."
The couple was married and the guests made their way to the reception. The gifts for the guests were rub-on tattoos - in sheets. Of course, the bride provided scissors so the guests could select the ones they wanted. Fun was had by all in comparing their various tattoos. By the end of the evening, the bride and the groom left - he with one of the bridesmaids and the bride with one of the groom's best friends.
I asked how long the marriage lasted. "Oh four months or so. But, it was her third or fourth, and his second." Then the florist assistant piped up, "You did tell them about us having to decorate the baby carriage so they could carry their baby down the aisle with them." "Oh, and then there was that."
I was still recovering from the wedding cake being placed by the dog pens.