Friday, July 26, 2013

Reason #5 God is a Man

There was a very smart lady that worked for the Playskool toy company years ago and she developed one of the simplest most fundamental toy that most American children (ages 12 months and up) have played with for generations - the Stacking and Nesting Cubes. Of all the lessons one learned from this simple set of plastic blocks, the most valuable one was that by nesting them, putting the smallest in the next largest, then that one in the next largest, etc., from a stack of 7 blocks you are left with 1.

Reason #5 - Men never pick their things up and put them away.

Now one would think that the simple lesson we learned at age one of neatly combining a mess of 7 boxes into 1 neat container would stick. Ah, but grasshopper, you would be wrong. Where as women are instinctively drawn to the habit of "nesting" their dirty clothes in a hamper, or their dirty dishes in a dishwasher, men failed to grasp this concept early on.

Where women get satisfaction from picking up their magazines, random mail, and personal items and stacking them up or putting them away in a safe place, men tend to overlook these things. Once they have abandoned them on a chair, table, or counter they are out of mind but never out of sight. 

A man can walk through a bedroom, across the floor strewn with yesterday's clothes left just as he dropped them the night before, and fail to notice the trail of litter dotting the surface. They never feel the sense of urgency to pick them up and put them away. A woman, on the other hand, will wait until there is no longer a path through the abandoned apparel, having given the man plenty of opportunity to put his clothes away and, only then, take it upon herself to clean up the mess. 

Placing dirty dishes in a kitchen sink is a man's idea of "cleaning up". Since we have long given up on the arrival of the Housekeeping Fairy, reality tells us that one must scrape the residual matter from the plates into the trash, rinse the plates, and then place them in the dishwasher. 

Oh, and when a man asks if the dishwasher is "Clean or Empty", why do they always assume if the answer is "Clean", that means we are saying, "Please step away from the machine, I'll empty it." God forbid they take it upon themselves to empty the dishwasher. Oh, but then again, what am I thinking? God's a man, so I guess he did.

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