Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Miss South Carolina - You Can Roll Along Now

God help us all. Even Mississippi and West Virginia cannot save us this time. Sunday evening during the "The Parade of States" in the Miss America Pageant, Miss South Carolina introduced herself to God and everybody with the following announcement, "I'm from the state where 20 percent of our homes are mobile, because that's how we roll."  Surprisingly, she did not advance to the semifinal round. Thank God for small favors. There is no telling what nifty answers she would have come up with when challenged with some thought provoking question thrown at her by a judge.

This just goes hand in hand with the rocket scientists who always manage to find the Weather Channel's cameras after a tornado plowed through their trailer park. Their comments are so memorable, "Well, it sounded like a freight train. I reached for Merlene and the next thing I knew our trailer was blown to smithereens and there I was left in the drive way sitting in my Barcalounger." As the camera pans the wreckage one manages to add, "Ain't never seen anything like this."

Nothing quite puts your state on the map and brings pride to your heart, like an over weight man standing there, missing at least two of his front teeth, proudly wearing his NRA ball cap and NASCAR t-shirt. God bless the USA.

It doesn't matter that our state is the home of Charleston, internationally acclaimed as one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Or, that we have 47 lovely state parks. Perhaps, we should be known for our 70 gorgeous unpolluted rivers, including the Ashley and Cooper rivers that come together to form the Atlantic Ocean. There are so many positive attributes of the Palmetto State that we are proud of, I could go on and on. I do not think her choice of facts was the best to say the least.

Oh, and then there is the issue of math - obviously not her strong suit. According to the US Census, the percentage of SC citizens living in mobile homes is actually 17.6%, a point that was brought up by many irate South Carolina tweeters and blog posters. This is in response to the total humiliation brought on to the state by the young lady we chose as our representative to the Miss America pageant.

Her comments were supposed to be humorous and attention grabbing. An example of Miss Kentuky's was given: “From the home of fast horses and beautiful women – better not get those two things mixed up – I'm Jenna Day, Miss Kentucky!” Miss South Carolina's comment was not in the same league, or should I say same trailer  ball park.

It's a good thing Miss South Carolina did not win, she could have gone on to the Miss World Pageant and introduced herself as Miss America "From the land of  red necks, white trash, and blue ribbon beer."

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