Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I am Who I am and It's My Dance Floor

"I think, therefore I am" or as Malory Keaton on "Family Ties" said it so well after several days into her first philosophy class, "I shop, therefore I am". My favorite may be Gloria Gaynor's put on it, "Life's not worth a damn, 'Til you can say I am what I am". 

Of course this all begs to ask what am I? My dear father used to say when asked that he was the "Chief Cook and Bottle Washer". Of course this was a self deprecating answer to a gentleman farmer who happened to be a registered pharmacist with several very profitable businesses. But then he also drank Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (in the days long before it became de rigueur). Of course my haughty mother insisted on Heineken. My father said he knew he could afford anything and that was why he chose PBR. 

I am having a crisis of personal identity, a failure to find my place in this insane world in which we live. For years I have been my husband's wife, my daughters' mother, or my mother's daughter. At what time do I crawl out and become my own.

I think Olivia Pope (of Scandal fame) as usual has it under control. In a recent episode (ironically just before she was kidnapped) she set the record straight.  Jake came into her apartment to find her dancing. She said, "I want Vermont with Fitz [the president]. I also want the sun with you [she pointed to Jake]. I'm not choosing Jake. I'm not choosing Fitz. I choose me. I'm choosing Olivia. And right now Olivia is dancing. I am free. Now you can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor."

I will know the dust has settled when I can stand there and state "You can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor." 

Ah, to be Olivia Pope. 

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