Friday, April 3, 2015

My Cheatin Heart

Earlier I commented about painting. It wasn't as easy as I made it sound, but then is anything easy any more. By that time we were down to the short rows - painting, but even then I knew the end was no where in sight. If nothing else, the goal line had moved. More and more I could relate to old Charlie Brown trying to kick that blasted football.

My DH made many discouraging remarks over the years about my prior painting job in the bathroom. So when we started planning this job, he said right up front that he did not want me to paint the bathroom. He would do it. He wanted it done right.

So be it. Shoot me - spare me the roller and the brush. My feelings were far from hurt. Of course selecting the color and buying the paint was the easy part. Looking back on it, I am not so sure that selecting and ordering new items was not the reason for this entire exercise, but I digress.

As soon as it was time for the rubber to hit the road, or rather the paint to hit the walls, everything came to a grinding halt. Everything, short of the plague, came up. The plumber was coming and he wasn't sure he would have time to paint before he arrived. It was raining, the humidity was not ideal. Thursday fell on an odd numbered day - OK, I exaggerate but you get where am going here.

My DH's big thing has always been, "Prior Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance." Therefore prepping the walls was a must. So we spent several days sanding, wiping, and getting the walls prepared for their new paint. One would think we were preparing a virgin bride for her nuptials. Finally, there were no excuses left. The paint had been purchased and the walls were properly prepared.

So he put he put on the initial coat. There was quite a bit of mumbling under his breath when it came to the edging. Patience is not his greatest virtue. In fact I think God forgot virtue when he got to my DH. When he finished the first coat, he admitted he still had to figure out how to paint the edge around the tile and the window without getting paint on the other surfaces. My answer was simple - the new miracle blue painting tape.

As I have mentioned before there are several items that have been overlooked by the Nobel committee in Sweden, the Jitterbug Mobile phone for seniors and the Swifter Sweeper just to name two. Well another I can add to that distinguished list is 3M's Blue Edge Lock tape. Just put this pup up along the edge of your paint job and it will protect the surface you wish to avoid and give you a sharp clean edge every time. Unlike the old tan masking tape that would stick to everything, sometimes pull the paint off the wall and cause more problems than it was worth, Edge Lock comes off like teflon but holds like duct tape. By God someone had their thinking cap on that day.

My DH's immediate response was, "That is cheating. A good painter can 'cut' his edge."

Now by 'cut' he meant paint a sharp edge manually by turning the brush and carefully painting a straight thin line. The term came from an old painter we had paint a house for us named "Rev". My DH asked him one day how he painted such a sharp straight edge every time. His response was, "It's how I cut it." "Rev" was also a full time pastor of a country AME church. So in addition to talent he may have had some divine help on his side. Whatever, he was the best painter I ever came across.

"Well, I'm not Rev and I cannot 'cut' paint so I have no shame in using the blue tape," I said thinking I could certainly use some of that divine intervention at this time as well.

When I primed and painted the window I used the blue tape and found my job so much easier. So much so, I volunteered to put the second coat on the walls for my DH.

"You said you couldn't 'cut' paint. You can't paint the walls and get the edge right without doing that."

"Yes I can, using the blue tape."

"I told you that is cheating."

So be it. Let's see, paint, wait for it to dry, then take a razor blade and carefully cut all the excess mess you have on the tile and window frame - remembering to avoid cutting yourself. Then go back and touch up all the places you cut too close and have to reapply the wall paint. Or, tape the edges, paint the wall, then after the paint has dried remove the tape and 'Voila' clean crisp lines.

Hank Williams may have said "Your cheatin' heart will tell on you..." but I doubt he was referring to painting a wall at the time. And even if he was, so be it, let the walls talk. 

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