My Life A Bit South of Normal

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I'll Be Back - I Promise

Alas gentle readers, I have not abandoned you. It seems that I am too busy in my boring unemployed life to sit and write every day. Trust me it is not for loss of fodder. I am taking a sabbatical for a week or three and hope to be back in the saddle soon, Please bear with me and keep checking in. I'll be back. And, as always, thanks for taking the time to read the blog.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The World Did Not End on October 7th

For all those who wondered - we are high and dry. The "1000 Year Flood" did not effect us. Which brings me to ask, who was around in the year 1015 to record the last such fluid disaster in this area? But I digress.

For some reason the area we live in was spared the devastation many parts of our dear state received. Even thought we live less than a 1/4 mile from the Edisto river, a flooded driveway (which only needs a good rain to achieve that condition at anytime) and a soggy back yard (that enthused our dogs greatly) are all we have to show for it.

But we were prepared - sort of. I had gone to the store and bought groceries. Naturally most of what I brought home needed to be refrigerated or kept in the freezer. If we lost electricity we would be SOL. Cooking was no problem given our camping equipment. I had not thought of clean water. I had not gotten cash from the ATM's or filled my car with gas. My DH had gotten bags of dirt and stacked them 3 high on the side of the house that opened to the sun room and garage - the areas most prone to flooding. And all four of our vehicles were parked in our low lying driveway. 

During the night of the 3rd my phone went off three times at 11:11 pm. 3:15 am, and 4:14 am with system wide reverse 911 calls advising of area flash flood warnings. I feared when we awoke in the morning we would find the wicked witch dead and everything in color.

But, we were safe, the house was dry and there was no damage. However, when turned on the TV we saw that we were the lucky ones. Most of the state had been slammed with heavy rains and flooding. Streets had turned into rivers sweeping cars away and filling the lower parts on many homes with water.People were being rescued by boats. It looked like Armageddon. 

There had been a prophecy that the world would end on October 7, 2015. Well the rains came on the 4th and 5th. On the 6th the dams began to break. By the 7th the sun was shining but it was Hell on earth for many citizens in our state. The world did not end, but it was not a pretty sight and it will be years before the damage will be repaired. Memories of Hugo come back to the minds of everyone old enough to remember that storm and its violent swath across the state.

But we were spared and it's a good thing since this is a list of items the Emergency Preparedness Center suggests each household have done prior to any predicted weather emergency:

  • buy bottled water and fill bath tubs with water
  • buy non perishable foods, enough for several days
  • have cash on hand in case banks and ATMs are not accessible
  • fill all vehicles up with gas
  • move vehicles to a safe place (high ground away from trees and objects that can blow over)
  •  put sandbags in front of any parts of your home that are in low lying areas prone to flooding   
Well, out of that list, I had done, uhm - none. God looks out for fools, drunks, and idiots like me.

Monday morning I went to Walmart to pickup a few things. The shoppers were calm, going about their business. No one was frantic. The store was full and the shelves were emptying. I think folks realized that given many bridges and roads were closed it may be hard for vendors to get in and restock the store. As I was checking out, this older man with a stubbly beard was walking around saying, "You know the river is going to flood and wipe us out. That's what the weather people say. It's true." No one even paid attention to him.

I looked in my buggy. Perhaps I should go back and get some bottled water and non perishable food, fill my car up with gas, and stop by the ATM on the way home. Chicken Little may be saying the sky is falling, or in this case, some redneck may be mumbling that the river is rising, but I think I will play it safe this time.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Intern - a Movie Review

When you put two talented Oscar winning actors together in rolls that suit them so well, the story works despite milk warm reviews. In The Intern,Robert De Niro plays Ben, a 70 year old retired executive who takes a position as a senior intern at an ecommerce company. Anne Hatheway plays Jules Ostin, the founder and head of the online company. 

The beauty of the story is that Ben does not try to fight the mindset of the millennials he finds himself among. He is just his friendly helpful respectful self showing up every day in a suit and tie complete with brief case. Jules on the other hand, finds herself drowning in every startup's dream - a company growing too fast. 

Everyone learns from Ben. It doesn't take long for the male millennials to find there may be something to "old school" after all. Jules, however, is not so taken. She is totally wrapped up in the stress of running the company, her personal life, and keeping it all together. 

The movie is funny, poignant, and touching. Even my DH enjoyed it which means it does not fall in "chick flick" status. There is a lot to the story. Although you may feel like you know the end as the story starts, as the saying goes - it is the journey that is more interesting than the destination.

The roll of Jule's daughter, Paige, was played by Jojo Kusher who if her talent in this film is any sign, has a long career before her. She was cute, authentic, and precocious. Rene Russo plays the company's masseuse. The only weak point in the movie was the character of Matt, Jules' husband, played by Anders Holm. He just did not fit in. Even if his character was part of the story - I won't go there,  Holm was not the best choice in the roll (IMHO). He came across as sleazy and not genuine - not one would Jules would have fallen in love with. 

The movie is well worth 121 minutes. I do not see this winning additional Oscars for De Niro and Hatheway, but it is not a waste of their talent - or your time.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Exactly How Large is a Cubit?

Looking at the orange on the weather map and the dire predictions of record breaking rainfall and catastrophic flooding (meteorologists must have to take a course in "Near Hysterical Descriptives" before getting their certification) I only have one question - exactly how large is a cubit anyway?

There is a small town in our county where a gentleman has built a UFO Welcome Center (I couldn't make this stuff up), so being in the middle of the Bible belt no doubt someone here has built an ark in their backyard. Yes, I realize God said he would never send the big flood again, but I imagine some brain child is hedging his bets along with the super intense fire proof chamber filled with supplies he has constructed in the basement preparing for his family to be able to ride out Armageddon come Hell or high water - literally. Just saying. . . don't laugh, you know the type. We have one or two suspects in our family alone.

Given the storm predictions we are currently looking at, if there is an ark in the neighborhood and someone has a ticket, I'm more than willing to go along as their "plus one". You can just post me the information.