Friday, April 22, 2016

I Really Think You Will Like This

I have a habit of putting things off - delaying them - moving them to the bottom of the list. Taking out the recycling is one. However an overflowing box of bottles, cans, and boxes will keep me in line. I will delay refilling a prescription until the last minute. And, the paperwork to renew my passport still sits on my desk, where it has patiently waited since December. The issue there - I need a new photo. The fact that I am in a CVS or Walgreens probably once a week and could easily get one made on any given trip does not hasten the process.

Getting my hair cut falls into this category. I will wait until it is ragged, over grown, and out of shape before I will get my act together and get it cut. Today was that day. After all, I have some fairly important social engagements next week, not that I am really concerned about what my hair looks like, but I would rather give the impression that I have a mirror in my apartment.

Naturally, the young lady who cuts my hair could not see me at the last minute. Not her fault - but rather my poor planning and procrastination. So I found another salon that could fit me in. I walked in to find that "Keith" was going to cut my hair. As I sat down in the chair he started asking questions about my hair cut - what style I had and what I wanted today. I told him that I did not want any more layers than I already had and my main desire was to get about an inch and a half cut off the back. He asked me if I meant "cut up". I told him, no,  I just wanted it cut straight off the bottom of the back and then the rest trimmed. 

He started combing and parting and cutting. He was cutting and snipping. I commented that I really just wanted the weight off the back so just an inch or so off the bottom would do that. He continued to cut. I added that I wanted to make sure it would be long enough to use a small curling iron if I needed to.

He suddenly stopped. "But you have curly hair?"

"I know, but there are times that my hair has a mind of its own and I need to tame it."


There are Oh wow!'s, Oh no's!, and Oh shit's! I did not like Keith's - Oh.

Then he said, "So this is not what you had in mind?" as he handed me a mirror and turned my chair so I could see the back. 

What I saw (or didn't) was that the hair left on the back of my head had been tapered very short half way up where short layers started. 

He could tell I was not happy. He started combing the sides which he had only trimmed so far. "Well, we can always just leave these long," he said as he pulled the hair on the sides of my face down.

Without thinking I blurted out, "No, we can't. Women with haircuts like that - very short in the back and long in the front, look ridiculous. And, no, I do not want the sides cut as short as the back."

"Well maybe I can trim them so they will taper up to the back." I quickly explained to him that I did not care for that "hair do" at all. So he worked quietly trying to salvage what he could.

When he finished, he said (in a fairly nervous voice), "I really think you will like it. The cut accents your eyes and the features in your face." (This reminded me of the line a guy uses to describe the not so good looking blind date he has set his best friend up with, 'She does a great job with her makeup'.)

As he turned my chair I feared my hair style would either resemble a Kate Gosling look or the remnants of a John Deere mower gown amok. Yep, my nightmare scenario - I am going to see long lost friends I have not seen (in many cases) in 30 something years and they are going to think I aspire to emulate a pitiful reality star with a bad haircut. 

Well, on the "bright" side this solves the issue about what I will wear. No one will even notice what I have on, no doubt all comments will be made about my hair style, lack there of, or worse - the silent looks of those thinking, "Does she realize her hair looks like that of a pitiful reality star with a bad haircut?"

Thank God there will be an open bar. 

One other thing, this certainly delays my passport photo for another several months. 

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