No one's life is sane. It is learning how to live with the insanity that is the trick. Sure, down South, we all have our skeletons in the closet. The difference is - we open the doors and let them dance on the front porch. After all, who doesn't have a mother who thinks she knows it all, a father who knows best, at least one irritating sibling, and that weird uncle no one wants to sit by at supper. I'm not sure what "Normal" is, but whatever it is, I know I live a bit south of it.
My Life A Bit South of Normal
Sunday, May 6, 2018
Any Problem Here?
"Not so much, I work for the Mobile Press Register." Baldwin said, reaching in his pocket and handing Jeb a business card that read 'Roger Baldwin, Associate Feature Photographer, Mobile Press Register'. It also listed his contact information.
"Are you an invited guest?"
"Yes, by the mother of the bride invited me."
"Really?" Jeb paused, "I don't recall that in the plans."
"Mrs. Quinton is a close friend of Amy Lewis, our social and features editor. She asked Amy if she could feature her daughter's wedding in next Sunday's edition. So Amy sent me to get photographs of the wedding and reception."
"So, how did you end up here?"
Baldwin looked at Jeb, not understanding, then it came to him. "Amy told me the wedding would be at The Columns, however when I went there I was told the wedding had been moved."
"Moved or cancelled?"
"Well they said cancelled, but this nice lady in the parking lot said it had been moved to this place. So got directions and came to the wedding."
"There are several issues here. First, if you were invited to wedding by Mrs. Quinton, that wedding was cancelled. This is a reception, an entirely different affair that Mrs. Quinton did not even learn of until this morning."
"Ah, that explains the hissy fit she had early this evening."
Ignoring the last comment Jeb continued, "Mr. Baldwin, I think you confused this with a wedding to which you were invited."
"I don't think so. Mrs. Quinton invited me to photograph her daughter's wedding and reception."
Mike walked up behind Jeb, "Any problem?"
"None at all, Mr. Baldwin here was just leaving."
Sheriff Quitman, who had come with Mike, added,"Who are you?"
"Roger Baldwin with the Mobile Press Register."
"And why are you here?"
"The bride's mother invited me to photograph the wedding and reception for the newspaper."
"The wedding at The Columns, I assume."
"Yes, but . . ."
"No butts son, I think you should leave as soon as you hand over all your memory cards."
"Why should I do that?"
The Sheriff pulled his wallet from his back pocket, opened it, and showed the photographer his badge. "Because if you don't I'll charge you with trespassing."
"Mike check him for any cards." Reluctantly, Baldwin handed Mike his jacket. Mike checked all his pockets and found one card in his left coat pocket. Baldwin turned his pockets of his pants inside out. Mike checked his back pockets, going as far as to have him remove his shoes and socks. Finally Mike turned to the Sheriff, "Only this one and whatever is in his camera."
The Sheriff looked at Baldwin. Without having the Sheriff ask, he opened the side of the camera and removed the card.
"I suggest you leave now."
"But I need my cards, there are things on there besides the wedding that I need to file."
"I'll go through the cards and get them back to you tomorrow, with everything on them except any wedding pictures."
"You can't do that?"
"Well, you're right. You have a choice. I can charge you, arrest you, and put you in our jail. I know the judge will hear your case promptly. I've found him to be very fair. I'm sure after you go before him Monday morning you will be free to go."
"Monday? I cannot stay in jail until Monday!"
"Then I suggest you leave now."
Obviously not happy with the situation, the photographer turned and headed toward the parking area.
"I'll look at the cards Monday morning, delete any wedding pictures, and get the cards back to him. I also want to speak with this Amy Lewis."
"Monday?" Mike said, "You said you would look at them tomorrow." "I doubt he needs them until Monday."
Mike shook his head. Jeb thanked the Sheriff. "I appreciate your help with this."
"Glad to help. Now you boys get back to your brides before they start asking questions."
Mike and Jeb turned and headed back to the dance floor. "I'll come up with some story", said Mike.
"Thanks, 'cause there's no way I could concoct anything right now."