No one's life is sane. It is learning how to live with the insanity that is the trick. Sure, down South, we all have our skeletons in the closet. The difference is - we open the doors and let them dance on the front porch. After all, who doesn't have a mother who thinks she knows it all, a father who knows best, at least one irritating sibling, and that weird uncle no one wants to sit by at supper. I'm not sure what "Normal" is, but whatever it is, I know I live a bit south of it.
My Life A Bit South of Normal
Thursday, June 21, 2018
Oh, It Unsnaps!
As soon as Flora saw her sister standing in the door way she was on her feet. "Flora what do I do now?" she said again in a loud whisper.
Flora quietly responded, "I gave you 2 books."
"I know, but I don't remember how to work the teddy."
'What?' Flora thought. 'What in the world was she talking about?' Before she could ask, Cora was speaking.
"It's in the way. You know . . ."
Then Cora smiled, "Never mind I figured it out. It snaps, that's pretty smart." She looked around her sister at John sitting there taking this all in. "Haayy!" He smiled and waved. Cora turned to leave. Before she got through the door, Cora said, "You know you have to take your clothes off for this to work."
Flora was so confounded by the way Cora was acting, all she could do was sit there. John asked, "Are you alright?"
She didn't say anything because she didn't know what to say. Both of them could hear noises coming from the living room. "Come over here," John suggested indicating the seat next to him on the swing.
Flora hesitated, but then stood up and moved to the porch swing. John put his arm around her. Flora just froze. 'What do I do now,' she asked herself. Her mind was blank. The sounds emanating from the living room sofa were all she could hear.
John nuzzled her neck. "You smell so good." Flora was a lost cause. All she could think of was, 'How could this have happened? Cora is such a prude.'
Meanwhile John was about to give up. Finally he sat back. "Flora I am sorry. I thought you might be trying to seduce me, like Cora is doing. . . to Don, you know?" He paused, "I guess I was mistaken. Have I done something wrong?"
"Of course not," said Flora.
"Well then move over here a bit closer to me." She did and he reached down to kiss her. But not before they heard, "Oh, baby do that again!" come from the living room.
Flora and John fumbled around for a bit. Finally Flora unbuttoned a button or 2 or her blouse. John could see the pink lace. Enthusiastically, he started undoing the remaining buttons. All this was going well until the screen door opened and Cora and Don walked out onto the porch.
It was quite obvious that both were drunk. Cora was wearing her blouse unbuttoned so you could see her teddy, with Don's neck tie hanging loosly around her neck. Don was wearing his shirt, boxer shorts, his brown dress socks, carrying his pants and shoes and a shit eating grin. "Whatcha y'all doing?" Cora asked in a bit of a slur. Flora sat up and tried to pull her blouse back on.
When Cora saw where Flora and John were, Cora said, "Oh, honey, you're not going to get any like that."