Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Don't Mess With Pluto

We obviously have not been living right. For weeks before the wedding I was concerned about the rain. Then the weekend approached and I had to add cool temperatures to my list. We got through the wedding, dry but a little chilly.

Now, it is the first week of May and we are having days in the low 60s with rain. What's up with that? The last time I checked my fair state had not moved to San Francisco. And, if so, where are the trolley cars and the Rice-a-Roni? Seriously, this is the type of weather they have out there. As Mark Twain said, "The coldest winter I ever had was a summer in San Francisco."  Though truth be told that was a misquote from something written earlier by a French writer complaining about a summer in Paris, but I digress.

San Francisco,  Paris, and trolley cars aside it is time for spring. The magnolias should be blossoming. Instead, I fear they may be considering taking hiatus this year. I was diligent and had the "changing of the clothes" in late March, only to have to scurry around and pull out turtle neck sweaters and jackets to make it through April. And, what will happen - we will spring and moved right into the miserable hot summer. Someone up there has a sense of humor. 

In February, we had days in the 70s. The Azaleas bloomed in late March. And, then winter reappeared in April along with monsoon like rains. I am sure Al Gore would attribute this to Global Warming or 'Global Climate Disruption' as it is now termed. Whatever! I attribute this to demoting Pluto from planetary status. 

Obviously the knuckle head who made that decision was not paying attention in Mrs. Kissam's Seventh Grade Mythology class. Otherwise he would have known Pluto was the God of the Underworld (ie Hades, ie Hell). I cannot speak for everyone, but I am old enough to remember the commercial, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature." Well, it is even worse to piss off Pluto. And, look what has happened.

The ice cap is melting, the Earth's temperature is rising, flowers are blooming early, and spring has skipped us yet again. And, the powers that be, the great minds at NOAA, are trying to blame it on Global Warming Global Climate Disruption? How about someone offed a planet not realizing they were incurring the wrath of the underworld in doing so. 

So, just for the record, in my mind there are still 9 planets in our solar system, San Francisco's weather is just fine for San Francisco, and I would appreciate having our warm spring back. Oh, and I'd prefer to be able to cross the river Styx in peace, thank you.

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