Saturday, November 9, 2019

A Tree for Everyone, It's Not Just Green Anymore

Any one who knows me, knows I love a fresh Christmas tree. Don't get me wrong, there are situations when an artificial tree is appropriate. I specifically have problems with the house wife, who when it is time to trim the tree, goes into the attic and pulls down a full size tree from the last Christmas wrapped in plastic. But the tree is not "trimmed", rather it is "unwrapped" when it reveals all the lights, ornaments, and tinsel still in place. I don't judge. . . much. But, I digress.

Watching the news last night, a commercial caught my attention. It was as if Ronco decided to reincarnate the iconic silver tinsel tree from the 60's and put it on steroids. If this was your idea, sorry, someone beat you to it - Treetopia. If only there was an infomercial.

Of course there is the white one:


And the pink and blue ones: 



And, then there is the All American (or French) tree as well as a Rainbow tree



Among the silver, gold, black, red, and green (imagine that!) I was surprised not to find a camouflage tree. There has to be a market for one of those. 

There are different shapes: the standard, the slim, and the pencil.




There is the "Timeless Tinsel Tree"
And times have changed. No longer is there a rotating color wheel throwing different colors on the tree. These days there is a hand held remote that allows you to dial up the color for the tree.

Fear not, after some more research thanks to the Google Machine I did locate a camouflage Christmas tree. And, to go with it - a NASCAR tree.

Image result for camouflage christmas treeImage result for black and white nascar christmas tree

The tree at Hogwarts:

Image result for themed christmas tree

And one for the truly fashionable.

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And the whimsical 

Image result for themed christmas tree

After reading up on the Christmas tree, I am bit flumoxed. This attraction, the traditional center of the family holliday celebration, was once a veritable toxic waste site.

Remember "Angel Hair" - that lovely airy 'stuff' mothers used to add a bit of elegance to the family tree or as a base for the manger scene on the coffee table. Come to find out it is spun glass that will not only cut your fingers, but your insides should you confuse it with candy.

Image result for angel hair decoration

Then there was the magic 'snow' one could throw on the tree to give it that flocked look. Fear not, those bulbs that often over heated would not ignite this 'snow' since it was Fire Proof Asbestos.

And those icicles that added reflection to the tree started as silvered paper. When silver became too expensive they made them from lead. (Think how many you handled over the years trimming the tree.) That was until the 1970's when FDA stepped in and stopped that practice. 

Image result for lead icicles


Don't forget the special Bubble Lights on the trees. That magic liquid that has a low enough boiling point to bubble with just the heat from the tree lightsmethylene chloride - a highly toxic fluid.

And don't even start thinking about the electrical cords overly extended with lines and lines of lights plugged into together. Not to mention that the heat generated by the bulbs themselves would comfortably warm a nice size den. 

But we (most of us) survived.

However, the best tree for me is the one I would wake up to on those magical Christmas mornings in the 1960's. Such as this:
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