To Friend or Not

 I'm not wedded to Facebook. It is not the first thing I check in the morning, nor the last I peruse before going to sleep. Sure, I'll post a picture here or there. Since any image can be cut and pasted from a Facebook post and I'm pretty protective of my photos and paintings, I am careful with what I share. I happened to notice yesterday that I have 1,700 "Friends". Seriously, I don't know that many people. 

Just because someone sends me a "Friend Request" does not mean I am going to accept. Before doing so, I always check to see what mutual friends we have. When I see that there is only one mutual "Friend" and I do not know them, I pass. As much as I love excitement in my life, a stalker is not in the plan. 

So then I question the request. What is the impetus behind it? Was a post of mine shared and interested this perspective "Friend"? Could that interest turn into an action of commerce? I tread lightly. I don't look through the person's page. I either accept the request, deny the request, or leave it to 'marinade' before making a decision either way.

But back to the 1700. (Even that comment sounds like Mrs. Astor's list of 400. Making or not making her list could solidify one's social status, or doom them to a life of only invitations  to second rate events.)  Seriously, considering colleagues I met at various jobs throughout my career, current friends, former and present neighbors, college friends, parents of friends, folks that share some of my interests, I still don't count up 1700. Some rainy day, when I am bored out of my mind, am not motivated to do much, I'll just delve into the list. Just out of curiosity, who are these people?

Several weeks ago, I realized that there are  a dozen or so "Friends" who are no longer with us. In good conscious, how can I "Unfriend" someone who has passed on? 

Speaking of "Unfriending", the ultimate diss, I'll admit I have taken this drastic measure with several people I did not want "Following" me. I have nothing to hide, I just tire of their constant "Likes", emojis and obnoxious comments. If someone has time to  comment to most posts, especially with banal responses, they have more time on their hands than interests in their lives. They deserve being (secretly) sent to purgatory. Ah, the power of the "Unlike" button.

But it is nice to keep up with old friends and buddies. We are all so spread out, so into our own lives, that I can think of no other way to see what is going on. It is always a pleasant surprise when someone from my past takes time to "Reach out and touch" me. 

Bottom line, if I don't comment to a comment of yours, don't take it personally. I try to only comment when I have something to say or add to the conversation. A simple "Like" means I have read the post and agree. 

So with all this, I need to finish this short tome (yes, I realize that is an oxymoron) so I can post it and get on with my day. 

I'm Sorry If I Don't Like You

As Macbeth said, "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Stay with me here folks.

I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. Yes, I post a photo or a picture of one of my paintings  every morning or so. It is not unusual for me to post a candid shot of my pups with some witty comment about what they are thinking - like I really know.

So I have confessed my participation in the madness of this college social connection board gone awry. OK, hijacked by grandmothers posting pictures of their grandchildren, folks sharing photos of flowers someone sent them, gifts they received, or what they are having for dinner. The smart phone app "Four Square" will automatically post your location anytime you walk into a business that participates. (My favorite being the notification I saw one evening showing a friend of mine had just arrived at a funeral home.)

The site is now also flooded with ads that are "personalized" to what Facebook "knew" I would be interested in according to some confusing algorithm. Thankfully I found the drop down arrow where, after 3 flicks, I can tell those who think they know more than I do about my tastes that in fact they do not. "Friends"of mine and "Friends" of Friends post little sayings that are often quaint, sometimes religious, and a few times pithy. Unfortunately there is no drop down menu to notify Facebook that these posts are extremely annoying and I would appreciate their ilk not being added to my news feed. They just take up too much of my time as I scroll through pictures of my grandchild, surprise appearances of characters from my past, and updates on friends and family who are ill, dead, nigh onto to death, or just plain dying. (Ever since my Mama died and I lost her daily update on this last category, often Facebook is my best source.) But I digress - I simply scroll down.

But there are those posts that I strongly agree with. There are those posts where I want to show my support or that I shared their "chuckle". Sometimes I "Like" a post because it is a beautiful or unique photo. It may be someone's travel photo that I feel the need to show that I see they are traveling and am enjoying their pictures. The perfect example of this being a childhood friend of mind who recently got married. She and her new groom took a "Tour" of Europe for several months as their honeymoon. I traveled vicariously with them, albeit pea green with envy, looking forward to her daily post.

Speaking of the infamous "Like" button, unlike (no pun intended) many of my Friends, I use this sparingly. I do not "Like" every post I scroll by. As I mentioned above, many I could do without, but to each their own. When I "Like" a post, I am saying, "I agree, I appreciate, I am amused, I am impressed, I share your pain, joy, or loss." Not getting a "Like" from me does not necessarily indicate I am against your view, hate your post, don't think your grandchildren are the cat's pajamas, or not care.

As for my posts, I take any "Like" I receive to mean someone has considered my post and either appreciated it, agreed with it, are both. I don't expect a "Like" from everyone who sees a post of mine. A prime example of this is my photos. I never receive more than 15-20 likes on a given day, yet I cannot count the number of people who have stopped me on the street or at an event to tell me "I enjoy your photos on Facebook." And very few of these are included in the "Like" numbers. (I can see who "Like"s any given post.) So, no doubt, more people see my Photos and enjoy them than "Like" them.

All this rambling came to mind this morning when I came upon a post, rather a rant, from a grandmother very upset that not one person "Liked" her post yesterday about her granddaughter's birthday. How thoughtless, how rude, how could everyone be so remiss (according to her). In her mind one would think this incident had ruined the child's special day and thrown the child into therapy for life. Spare me.

Just because I don't "Like"you, doesn't mean I don't like you, care for you, or saw your post. It just means that I did not have a comment to make about it. To each their own. To Like or not to Like is a question I take seriously.