On and Off the Bandwagon

According to Merrian-Webster, the definition of Gluten is: "a substance in wheat and flour that holds dough together".

Once again, my little mind is a bit confused. As a child and young adult I had many friends (and relatives), and knew folks from many other parts of the country, and I never heard of anyone suffering from the ill effects of "gluten". This, despite the fact we were raised reared on a diet of Cherrios, Wheaties, and Sunbeam Bread. God forbid I mention our consumption of coconut cake, biscuits, and fried chicken - all these are truly gluten possessed. 

It wasn't until I was in my late 40's when I first heard of a friend of mine's cousin's child suffered from Celiac Disease that I ever heard the term "gluten free". The disease, she explained to me was when digesting gluten triggered the body's immune system to damage the small finger like projections that line the small intestine that promote nutrient absorption. This would prevent nutrients from being absorbed properly into the body. In this case, the child was really ill and the mother had to learn a different way to shop and cook for him. 

I could not imagine such a fate. First having a child one had to protect from such a horrendous disease and learn how to rethink how to shop, cook, and eat wheat and flour free in our world of bread, breading, cakes, cookies, and pasta. Obviously this was before the birth of the Gluten Free market.

Suddenly we have "Gluten Free" aisles in the grocery stores. A good 20% of my friends are now convinced that Gluten is the cause of every digestive, intestinal, or weight  problem they have and have sworn off the evil stuff. There are articles stating "80% of those with Celiac Disease go un-diagnosed". According to an article on Healthy Living while there are those who suffer from Celiac Disease, more may just have a wheat allergy. My question is how many of those on the Gluten Free band wagon have been tested to know exactly what they have?

I'm not saying it is a passing fad. Giving the "Gluten Free" aisles in the grocery stores, it is a full fledged business now. However, if one looks closer they will see many of the Gluten Free products while free of Gluten are chocked full of fats, sugars, and carbs. Remembers the "Fat Free" diets of the early 1990's. I thought I was in nirvana. That was the diet for me. Once I found that I could eat an entire Entennman's Raspberry Danish Twist (all 5 servings) without a fat gram I was in heaven knowing I had not strayed from my diet. (Of course how I was going to lose weight given I had just consumed about 1500 calories was just a minor detail.) Also remember that Kate Gosselin's haircut (the one that looked as if it were done by a drunk stylist with great ambition) was also a fad. But  digress.

I'm not saying that Gluten Free is all bad or that we may be carrying this a little far. Personally I'm not quite ready to swear off biscuits, fried chicken, and  whole grain bread - the real stuff not some GF alternative. All I am saying is, as a country we love band wagons and are quick to jump on. This all came to mind this morning in the shower when I noticed that on the front of both of my DH's shampoo and conditioner bottles it read "100% Vegan Free - Gluten Free". Seriously? Well, I'm just going watch this parade.

Fried Chicken - It ain't Broke

Full disclosure, even as southern born and bred as I am, I cannot fry chicken, Now that we have that behind us....

It never ceases to amaze me how folks want to mess up something good. If ain't broke, don't fix it. My theory is that it is like buying a wedding dress - they are all white, when you find one you really like, stop the madness and buy it.  But. I digress.

The Gray Lady (aka The New York Times) has done it again. There was an article in there today entitled "How to Make Good Fried Chicken."  The first sign was "making" fried chicken. My Mama said, "Don't be late for supper, we're having fried chicken." or "I'm frying chicken." My mama never said she was "making" chicken. In my house you could "make" a pie, "make" a cake, or "make" a mess.

First, they got into the chemistry of the dish -how the starch must coat the bird, then oil must be just the right temperature. I got right tickled when they suggested two or three pieces per person would leave you plenty for left overs. At our house there was never any left over fried chicken. Miraculously,  we would find some the next morning in the 'fridge but that was only because Mama, in her great wisdom, would put aside some extra pieces before supper.

Then they went on about "brining" your chicken in a buttermilk, pickle, cola, or cider brine and waiting a few hours. Next, they got into gluten free flours. This is where the the train jumped the track. I never had one of my friends or kin folks drop dead over dosing on gluten from the flour in fried chicken (or anything else for that matter).  They also suggested to cook the chicken outside if you don't want to "mess up" your kitchen.

Why not just call up KFC and order a bucket? By now everyone in your household must be starving. They already have had to wait several hours while you brined your chicken and it is going to get ugly when they realize there is a limit to their servings.

Next, the article went into the "Various flavors" of fried chicken. I never had flavored fried chicken, unless you counted "Burnt" as an alternate taste. Please tell me who as a child came home at dark for supper on a summer night or waited patiently in the food line at the church homecoming dinner or feasted on the comfort food brought by friends and neighbors when a loved one passed away only to find a platter of chicken flavored with Adobo, Korean, Nashville, or Persian spices? I think not. I can only imagine the countenance on the church ladies' faces should someone show up at a bereaved family's home with a platter of Korean flavored fried chicken. That would be worst than having dark meat in their chicken salad.

I stopped reading the article before they went as far as to say they frowned upon eating fried chicken with your hands. Please dear God, say it is not so.

Even though I am cursed and cannot create this simple southern dish, part of the southern trinity together with biscuits and collards, I cannot help but think that Clemmie,  said it best when she said, "Cook 'til done, season to taste."

A True Southern Cook

I was talking about southern cooking with a friend of mine recently. She was asking if my mother taught me to cook. I explained that no, in fact she never let me in the kitchen. When I got married boiling water was a challenge.

She went on to talk about how she was now cooking new cuisines such as Asian Fusion, Tapas, Thai, and Ethiopian. Even though she did not articulate in so many words, she was saying, "Southern is so yesterday".

"But I know you like true southern food. In fact every thing I have eaten you fixed was quite tasty. There is an art to true southern cooking. So many people these days think they are southern cooks but they don't know what they are talking about."

Wow, I thought, here was a compliment. After all I had watched my Grandmama and Granny cook as a child.

She continued, "Nothing irritates me more than cooks who profess to be true 'Southern Cooks' but when you get down to brass tacks, they are cooking out of Junior League cookbooks, using instant rice, and still feeding their children that disgusting stuff from that Kraft blue box they call macaroni and cheese."

I agreed and we went on to discuss our childhood memories of being in the kitchen with our grandmothers, watching them carefully make biscuits, fry chicken, and bake cakes. She did have me when it came to watching her mother. My childhood memories of Mama's cooking were more of burnt roasts discovered the next morning. (Although my Mama could fry the best chicken I ever had despite her state of sobriety (or not) at the time.)

That evening while I was fixing supper I started thinking about my cooking. I will not deny that I feel as if I am a fairly good cook. One exception, in full disclosure, I cannot fry chicken. Everyone has a character failure - this is mine. There are worse. I can make macaroni and cheese that is rich with sharp white cheddar and cream with a touch of truffle oil, blacken salmon filets like a seasoned chef (no pun intended), bake a Lemon Doberge cake with homemade lemon curd between each of the 4 layers, to name some of my favorite recipes. 

I love good cornbread with bits of jalapenos and cheese. Collards are always a good green vegetable to add to any meal. I only use real creamy butter, never never never anything else. Anything, short of dessert, can be enhanced with the addition of bacon. I never learned how to cook a potato until I was married (and started reading about cooking) because I grew up with rice at every meal.

I make a mean roux that can be used as a base for gravy, gumbo, etouffee, or bechamel sauce. My pimento cheese is rich with real roasted peppers (that I roast myself) and sharp cheddar. 

My cooking is truly southern. I liberally utilize the two of the three food groups: butter and bacon.

OK, my conscious is heavy here. I spent years trying master collards only to finally learn the secret from a newly published cookbook - oh the humility of it. I tired of my biscuits being the butt of family jokes, so I resorted to the bagged frozen ones from Pillsbury. Grandmama, forgive me, I have failed you. My cornbread starts with a 45 cent box of Jiffy mix - shoot me now. But I have no apologies for the truffle oil in the macaroni, it is just damn good.

Now that I have confessed my sins in the kitchen, I can cook, bake, baste, braise, simmer, broil, and saute with pride. Everyone has skeletons in their pantry. I am just happy to put on an apron and dance with mine.