Fry It, You'll Like It

"Fried Pickles"? Should I be surprised? No. We fry everything down here. In fact someone said, "Southerners don't age, they just drop dead". If you look at the list of foods we fry, you would know why. But, we die happy.

Now, I'm not talking about silly things like Snickers candy bars, Twinkie's, Oreo's, or Coca Cola. Yes, there are folks out there who "fry" Coca Cola. Talk about the ultimate oxymoron - Fried Diet Coke! I'm talking about real food, meats and vegetables. And, when it comes to frying, we don't stop with chicken, potatoes, or fish, we go to the next level - chicken livers, gizzards (which are actually giblets), chitlins (the viscera intestines of a pig) (Note here: I don't eat all this.), okra, green tomatoes, hush puppies, sweet potatoes, and the list goes on. - alligator, squash, mushrooms. It's all going to taste better fried.

We like it "deep fried" not just pan fried. Any serious (honest) cook will tell you that the best fried foods are fried in lard (or Crisco, a close 2nd choice) not any kind of healthy oil and in a well cured cast iron skillet. We may die early, but by God when we go, we go out most contented having eaten well during our short life span.

The State Fair of Texas fancies itself as the "Fried Food Capitol of Texas". In my mind, it may have been game, set, match when in 2009 they gave the Big Tex Food Award in creativity to a concessionaire for "Deep Fried Butter" described as "100% pure butter whipped 'til light and fluffy, then specially sweetened with a choice of several flavors. The tantalizing mixture is surrounded by a special dough and quick fried." I don't think this can be topped as the ultimate fried dish - not that I would ever eat it. But then again, in Texas they fry pecan pies.

The Trinity of Southern Food

The term "Healthy Southern Cooking" is the ultimate oxymoron. Folks from up north often comment on Southern Cuisine and how much they love it. They also lament, it just doesn't taste the same "up there". Well there is a simple reason for all this, down here we have three main food groups, Butter, Bacon, and BBQ. (BBQ alone deserves its own post to do it justice.)

 Part of southern cooking, let's say the heart of southern cooking, is the flavor. And that flavor is not something you can bottle (short of someones secret BBQ sauce) or put in a flavor packet. The collards taste just right because of the thick pieces of bacon, hunk of fat back, or piece of salted pork you browned in the pot before you threw the collards in. 

Biscuits will not work correctly without Crisco or lard. (And for the record, I seriously doubt Bisquick contains dehydrated lard.) OK, you can fry chicken in vegetable oil and it will taste great. But I can assure you it tastes better fried in Crisco. 

There is a reason Butter is a food group down here. For instance, a decent biscuit is not decent without a pat of sweet creamy butter. "I can't believe it's not butter" isn't - just in case your mother never told you. Margarine is blasphemy. 

And there is little argument that bacon added to anything tastes better. This can be a sandwich, a casserole, or a pot of green beans, to name a few. One of newest fads on gourmet menus is Pork Belly. One again we are way ahead of you. Pork Belly is nothing more than extra thick slabs of bacon.

There are several truths in southern fare: Real Macaroni and Cheese does not come from a blue box. There is no such thing as "Oven Baked Fried Chicken". Powered gravy should be outlawed. Canned collards and boiled peanuts are disgusting. And the words "turkey" and "bacon" should never be associated with one another. 

I realize that due to heart health issues some folks need to abstain from the saturated fats. Everything in moderation. However, anyone who knows anything about the south knows moderation is not in our DNA. The only time southern women use moderation is in their words when writing a note of regret to the hostess of a party they did not want to attend in the first place.