My Life a Bit South of Normal

My Life a Bit South of Normal

Thursday, April 19, 2018

It has to be at some place wonderfullll!

"Mama, we got married at the Church of the Seven Wells and Three Stones, and we are having our reception at Ivy Lane later today."

"You can't have a wedding at some church. It has be some place wonderfullllll," Her speech was getting worse. "Like this place," Dixie said as she turned quickly and almost fell down.

Again, in a loud voice, Dixie started,"I cannot believe you would do that to your own mother. I missed the wedding, after all the work I did for you."

By this time Jeb and Harrell had gathered around Kathleen and Dixie. Trying to mitigate the situation Harrell put his hands on Dixie's shoulders. "Honey, it is OK. They are happy and isn't that all that matters?"

"All that matters! I have all the elite of Mobile invited. This is very important to Kathleen."

"No, Dixie. This is very important to you."

Dixie was quiet for moment, then she asked in a loud voice,"The cake? What about Bryson? What about Bernie? He has made that grand cake for you."

"Mama, you can take Be┼Ľnerd and his 'grand' cake and do whatever you want to with it!"

"But no one will see that cake. I wanted everyone," she paused to find some words. "Everyone in the whole wide world," with that Dixie spread her arms wide, as if to encompass the whole world, "to see the cake." She paused again and tried to take another sip from her champagne flute, which was empty. Dixie looked down at the flute, wondering what happened to her champagne. "And a reception, if you can call it that, at Ivy Lane. Pray tell what you will have, Spam sandwiches and pink punch?" Dixie smirked, "Whatever, but you won't have a fancy cake will you?"

"Mama, I don't want to hear another thing about that damn cake. If you do not calm down," Kathleen said in a very quiet voice, "you will also miss our wedding reception."

Harrell spoke up, "What's wrong with Spam sandwiches?"

"A lot," Dixie turned back to Kathleen. "Did you know, "she slurred her words, "that her mother runs a bordello. Ms Bunny . .  Ms whoever is a prostitute." Dixie was quiet a moment while she tried to maintain her balance. No doubt she was seeing 2 Kathleens standing in front of her. "You are going to have your wedding reception at the home of a prostitute?"

"Mama!" Kathleen said quietly, "Why don't you tell the world?"

Dixie turned to face the crowd, "Did y'all know my daughter is having her reception at the home of a prostitute." The fact that Dixie was confusing Bunny and Anna Belle was bad enough. But calling them prostitutes was beyond the pale.

Some people turned to see what Dixie was saying. Harrell smiled at the guests who were now paying attention, "She is just excited." Then quietly he told Dixie, "That's it. We need to leave."

"Are we going to that place, you know . . . that prostitute's house?"

Not willing to take any more, Kathleen looked at her mother. "Bunny is not a prostitute. She is one of the sweetest people I know. How dare you say things like that."

Jeb just shook his head. They all knew this would not be pretty. What they didn't count on were the many flutes of champagne Dixie had consumed. He looked at Kathleen. "Do we need to leave?"

"No, Jeb, we do not need to leave. Dixie is the only one leaving now." Kathleen looked at her father for help. Harrell put his arm around Dixie and guided her to the doors of the Chateau  - so, hopefully, they could leave without attracting any more attention.

Looking at his bride, Jeb pulled her closer to him. "Well, at least that is over. It could have been worse."

"How much worse than having a drunk mother yelling at me about prostitutes in the middle of Bunny's reception?"

"Your mother being sober and yelling at prostitutes in the middle of Bunny's reception."