Thursday, March 31, 2022

Curse of the Southerner

I need to purge. I have too much stuff. As I have said before, my stuff has stuff. As a southerner I am cursed with the idea we are the keepers of our past, as in the "past" 3 generations. Sure I can do without the extra phone cords stuffed in many drawers and boxes around my place. After all, all but 2 no longer fit my phone or any device I currently own. 

My past favorite shoes that are worn - so much so I no longer wear them public, can probably go. But can I really throw out these shoes? In reality yes, I'll no longer wear them and they went out of style several years ago. Those 2 purses that have broken straps. Come to think about it, I bought them on clearance and never cared for them anyway.

All those items I can justify. They were purchased in the past 10 years or so. The problem starts with my Grandmother's wash stand. If I remember correctly, it was passed down to her from her grandmother. I don't care for it, don't have room for it, and my children have made it clear they have no desire to be saddled with it. Sure, I can sell it. But, can I? Aren't I the generation tasked as the care taker?

There are the 3 coffee tables. One I bought at Good Will made of solid wood that I have in the corner of my den, another stored in a closet, and an old worn one I currently use that it the right size and design for me. The fact the finish is worn and scratched and the leather top is coming up in several places doesn't make it the most attractive piece. But it was such a good deal. 

Then there are the 2 matching Empire sofas my Mama had just covered in matching green damask shortly  before her death. How many people have matching Empire style sofas? Confidentially, I admit I am not a fan of the Empire style. What makes me hesitate parting with them? Personally I'm not sure which I fear more - the wrath of Mama's ghost or the guilt of letting it go.

More examples include the 4 large red wine glasses I found at a yard sale - the ones I have never used in the 2 years I have had them. The collection of colored glass I have displayed on shelves, none of which I paid more than a few dollars for, that I hate to dust. My collection of coffee table books? Whoa, they are not going anywhere. I don't care if I do not have room for them - I will some day. The large wing chair, the extra set of dishes I never use? The 3 lamps I have no place for? The 3 sets of shams that came with the last 3 comforters I bought? (I never use shams and 2 of those comforters I am proud to say have been thrown out.)

Let's face it, I am cursed. I am a weighed down with the "wealth" of unused, many useless, things I have strewn about my small abode. Each family piece comes with the ghost of some relative past. Seriously? I do not believe in ghosts. Maybe spirits of longed pass family members. Come to think of it, perhaps what I need is a Ouija Board to reach out and beg for permission and forgiveness to part with things I do not need, cannot use, and should not keep.

I am haunted by ghosts of the past - the burden to keep the "heirlooms" and pass them on, ghosts of the present - the lack of space or practical use, and the ghosts of the future - regret years from now that I parted with such valuable family history. 

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